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As I am writing this, I am on tour with my new band Josephine the Volcano. Last night we had a night off and spent it in deep conversation. Especially exciting because we didn’t all know each other equally well when we embarked on this journey.
We have all been bringing songs to the project for sharing and developing together. Olivia came with this awesome arrangement of the classic “Sail Away Ladies” but gave the disclaimer: “This or something better” explaining that she would love suggestions to improve this arrangement of the song. This has become somewhat of a mantra for us, musically. But yesterday we talked about this mantra as a life tool.
“This or something better”. This is a saying I’ve used a lot. It comes from wanting a balance between planning and taking control of your goals and your future and simultaneously being absolutely ok with however things turn out. The balance between wanting something SO BAD but still being absolutely ok with not getting it. These seem like two opposites to most people.
But I can explain how it is not. My theory is that the “easiest” road (read: simplest, most direct route, path of least resistance) to creating a life of your dreams or a life of your own design is having the strongest desire for the thing you are wanting (aka "most want”) and the least attachment to actually getting it (aka “least attachment”). So the perfect balance is the most want with the least attachment.
But if I really want something, how can I be unattached to whether or not I get it?...